When you are loved unconditionally and you, in turn, give your heart
completely, and
then the source and recipient of that deep affection
dies, what do you do? You mourn. You grieve. You shake your fist at
the heavens. Even though you knew this would happen. Even though you
knew, from the very beginning of your relationship, the loved one had
a limited time on earth with you and would pass away long before you.
You knew, one day, long before you were ready (you are never ready,)
this dear one would be wrenched from your side although the sweet
spirit would forever dwell in your heart.
"Sweet Betsy" photo by KL Wood |
In 2014, such a loved one died in my arms and never a day
goes by that I’m not reminded of her. She was my companion,
confidant, and fellow explorer of life’s ever changing seas. She
couldn’t care less how I looked, whether rolling out of bed or
dressed to the nines. She patiently listened as I ranted about
politics or injustice or the cost of shoes. She always greeted me
with genuine delight, no matter how long or short our separation. She
was a young spirit within an old soul. She was my Betsy. She was my
dog.
Betsy was black and white, curly-haired, half cocker spaniel, half
poodle, all clown. Although the official term for her particular
canine mixture is “Cockapoo,” I always referred to her as a
“Cockerspoodle.” Somehow that moniker seemed more suited to her
personality. Betsy walked by my side through many of my life
changes: becoming a grandma, enduring a
divorce, exploring new vocations, camping across America with a
summer in Alaska, finding new love and marriage, then home-sweet-home
in Edenton. In those twelve years, Betsy nestled deep within my heart
and became part of me, forever. But then, she developed cancer and
within four months, she was…gone. Even, now, tears well as I write
these words.
The loss rent a tear in my heart, a piece torn away that would always
be hers. I was devastated. How could I ever consider doing this to
myself, again? Bring another love into my life that would leave me
all too soon? But, two years later, as we watched our other dog,
nine-year-old Minna, the sweet ShihTzu, become more and more of a
fluffy couch potato, we decided it was time to look for a young
companion to keep her company and get her moving again. I told myself
it was for Minna, but I knew, it was really for me. You see, Betsy
had expanded my heart and made room for more of the unique love that
only pets can fulfill.
We knew there were so many wonderful dogs languishing in animal
shelters who
needed a home like ours in which they could enjoy being
alive and part of a family. So, my husband, Bill, and I began an
Internet search, looking for the qualities we thought would best fit
into our home life. And, then one day, we saw the photo of a dear
face, whose amber eyes looked out to us through cyberspace, imploring
us to adopt her. And we did. Seven-month-old Sophie (who we thought
was a terrier mix but who we realize, now, is a Portuguese Podengo
Poqueno) came bounding into our home, instantly bonding with all of
us and bringing playful joy and her own love into all our lives.
"Betsy, Minna, Sophie- National Dog Day, 2018" by KL Wood |
We have Betsy, and all the beloved pets before her, to thank for this
new companion. Sophie hasn’t replaced them in our hearts. She’s
just moved into the addition they created.
Thanks for stopping by! Y'all come back now.
Kate
3 comments:
I LOVE this blog post, and I so relate to it. I got tears in my eyes when you described Betsy; we have our own “Betsy” in our beloved dogs Maisie and Ollie. They have been answers to prayer, my protectors when the world seems too harsh, my friends when I am alone. You are right that animals give us a love that only they can do—strange, magical, definitely non-human—they are windows into the magnificence of creation. Your Sophie (and her incredible eyes) looks like she was meant just for you.
I love your soulful writing, and have subscribed to your blog. I didn’t know you wrote one! I’m so glad you shared the link.
Andrea Torrey Balsara, thanks so much.
It is always wonderful to meet a kindred spirit, such as you!
I invite my readers to visit your beautiful page: http://torreybalsara.com/
Warmest Regards,
Kate
What a lovely post
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